Back in the day, I was a big time Poison fan. I mean LOVED them. C.C. was my man of choice. What can I say, I liked guys I knew I could share make up with…I was also a Nick Rhodes fan from Duran Duran so me and the Maybelline men go way back. So of course when Rock of Love came along I had to watch despite the train wreck of boobs, airheads, booze and vomit just to see how one of my favorite band members was faring 20 years later. Good Lord. My imagination gave him much more intelligence and maturity than reality TV has shown his true nature. Not sure why this wasn’t named Rock of Lust but I digress. I had to tune into Season 2 because…I don’t know, I’m apparently a glutton for punishment.
So we were down to Ambre, my pick because she seems the least slutty, closer to his age and mature which I pray rubs off on him. Or we have Daisy “De La Hoya” who claimed she was Oscar De La Hoya’s niece (she’s not and I don’t know what she’d have to gain by lying about it given the last time his name was big it was because he was cross dressing in a fishnet catsuit). She has the IQ of a carrot, huge on board airbags, looks like someone bike pumped her lips, apparently needs her hands in order to attempt to speak. I say attempt because half the things she says are slurred and I feel myself getting more cerebrally retarded as I hear sounds spew from her face.
So who did he choose? Holy crap the man grew a brain cell and chose Ambre!
We all know its not going to last but at least they got to have…to quote Bret “hot monkey sex.” Let’s hope she doesn’t dump him at the reunion too
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