Wicked Attitude

I was watching The Biggest Loser and this bitch on there (Vicky) who purposely threw the challenge and the prize was videos from home.  She said seeing her kids on video again after seeing them not too long ago “didn’t mean anything” to her and she didn’t care to do it.  Oh I’m sorry Ms. Thing but 1) you’re not the only one on the team and 2) I’m sure your kids really appreciate knowing seeing them didn’t mean anything to you.  I hope you gain all of your weight back.

The man was looking at the paint ingredients the other day and pointed them out to me.  After reading off a list of unpronouncable ingredients the last one was rather curious.  “Some ingredients unknown.”  Um really??  How do you not know what ingredient you’re putting in a product??  Here’s some unknown goo seeping toward the sewer, this looks like it might go well in the paint.  I mean it’s not even like “we’ve boiled down a boot and used the juice for your painting pleasure.” 

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I’ve been perfectly content with living with our stark white walls for over 12 years.  Never had an itch to change until a few months ago when I saw just how much stuff shows up on the walls when they’re white.  I decided I wanted a light to medium gray green color and went online on Glidden’s site to see the paint colors they had.  I had taken a pic of our living room and was surprised to see colors that looked good on the little swatch actually looked a lot different when “painted” on the virtual walls of our living room.  I picked out 4 or 5 different colors I liked and kept coming back to this one called “Main Street USA.”  It was exactly what I wanted.  So we went into the local Home Depot and picked up three gallons and I saw it looked a little darker than I remembered on the card but didn’t think much of it. 

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Yep, the lastest media darling for the McCain campaign Samuel “Joe the (unlicensed) Plumber” Wurzelbacher owes the state of Ohio $1,182.98 in back personal income taxes according to Lucas County Court of Common Pleas.  You’d think that before McCain went on to tout this guy as the “every man” in this country he would’ve had one of his lackeys do a little digging first.  I pay my taxes thanks and Joe here is wanting to start his own business without taking care of the personal business he’s got left with the state??  What, do state taxes not count Joe?

See, this is what you opened yourself up to by thinking you were going to corner Obama on his plan and you would get a big ol’ pat on the back from fellow right wingers.  You made your point, got the old man’s attention and now everyone wants to know who you are which means they’re going to research everything that is public record and maybe try to obtain things that aren’t.  They build ‘em up to knock ‘em down.  Welcome to showbiz Joe!

You might be a redneck if this is on your Christmas list.

We’re halfway through painting our great room. The man keeps asking if I’m sure we don’t want to hire someone to finish the rest. No dear, I’m not paying someone $300 to do what we can do for free. But I am going to take a free pass to not be responsible for my actions due to inhalation of paint fumes.

Some douchewad went behind his wife’s back after she popped a human out of her body and changed the baby’s name from Ava Grace to…Sarah McCain Palin. Yeah. I’m sure after he has the surgery to have his nuts sewn back on, he’ll be heading straight to whatever office he needs to go to in order to change the name back to something non-idiotic. This is why men, who did nothing more to contribute to the process of baby being created than have an orgasm and a lucky swimmer, should never be allowed to name them.

21 days until this damn election is over. I will not miss you commercials. I will not miss you mud slingers. I will not miss you lawn signs. I will not miss you old man running with the beauty pagaent queen in a desperate attempt to win over Hillary voters. I just want to return to a time when I was able to turn on my TV and not be assaulted by political rhetoric every 45 seconds from commercials and the news. This election feels like it’s been going on for 3 years and if I were able to entertain myself for the duration, I would go in a bomb shelter and only pop out when it was safe from local and presidential election ads.

That floatation device from Rock of Love, Daisy De La Hoya is getting her own show on VH1. Who would watch this? Are there actually fans of this woman out there?? (Don’t answer that) If there was a nuclear bomb in LA, the only things that would be found in tact in the rubble would be her boobs and lips. I would like to make the same plea to VH1 to analyze the name of their channel. Video Hits 1. I’m failing to see video hits except for in the wee hours of the morning when most people are sleeping. Maybe consider changing your name to RC1 to reflect your actual programming…Reality Crap 1. Have artists stopped making videos for you to broadcast? This is why VH1 Classic is worth the money to see actual videos from the days they showed them. There is nothing better than 80’s cliche videos when the genre was new and they were experimenting and put effort into it, regardless of how cheesy it may look now. Sigh…the good old days.

Cheers

We were walking in the cemetery and it was an eventful walk.  There was a man practicing being a scarecrow or mime.  We didn’t ask, he didn’t tell.  Needless to say we kept an ear open and an eye on our car.  We also got to know some of the occupants in our surroundings and we saw one of the funniest things ever.  I’m going to take a camera next time because just repeating it takes away from it.  Yeah, I’m a tease like that.

I would like to hail The Ex List for its tackling of a very delicate subject…hairless vaginas.  They’re gross.  Hallelujah, someone finally said it!  I’m not saying grow a super fro all Foxy Brown like but there’s hair there for a reason and it asks to be neatly trimmed not waxed raw.  Having your hot box look like a 7 year old girl and having your man get off on it should raise a BIG red flag.  Nuff said.  (No creepy emails please.  On this let’s agree to disagree)

Jeers

I was watching Diners, Drive In’s and Dives last night and there was some dude who prides himself in doing everything to order.  Nothing is pre-cut like onion, peppers, etc.  This was impressive until I saw the myriad of cuts and chunks out of his hands.  ”I’ll take a Chicago dawg minus the blood and tissue donation please.”

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I’m becoming increasingly aware of this wormhole or rip in the space/time continuum that is sucking the weekends away at alarming rates recently.  Hell even the week went by rather quickly even if the day itself didn’t appear to.  Did that make sense?  It’s like “ugh, it’s Monday” and then suddenly “oh shit it’s Friday” I have 3 hours of fondue prep ahead of me. 

Yes, we had our fondue night aka-food orgy Saturday.  I must say the crab/shrimp cream cheese stuffing I made for the stuffed mushrooms was awesome.  I guess my friend’s boyfriend was raving about it to her mom and then proceeded to pop the meatballs we fried up at the end of the orgy on the car ride home like ludes.  They seemed impressed with my crepes as well which was a concoction on the fly that had delightful results.  I’m keeping that one in the repertoire.  The wormhole showed up all day as 9 1/2 hours seemed to fly by.  (Well for us at least, the boyfriend may have wanted to leave before then because he had a cold but he was polite and didn’t complain.  We told him to take a nap after dinner and he obliged.  I wouldn’t turn down a nap at virtual stranger’s homes either.  It’d be a good way to see if they talk about me because they think I’m asleep.)

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Since we came back from vacation (which feels like we didn’t even take) we have had a string of irritating events happen that has basically sucked any relaxation out of us.  The man’s birthday is coming up and I wanted to do something nice for him so I thought maybe renting a place for the weekend would be good.  I’m just curious, is it a requirement that all property managers are complete idiots??  If you’ve ever rented a place you know how it goes.  You contact them, they tell you send a deposit, upon receipt of said deposit they email or mail you check in instructions and a map to the rental.  Not a hard gig right?  Well the past 3 rentals I’ve encountered, in different states mind you, seem to forget their part of the deal.  The two before this third attempt had to practically be browbeaten to send me the check in instructions and maps.  One of them actually wanted a copy of the cancelled check of my $3000 payment!!  I feel vindicated having cost her some rentals after people read my review of that place according to some emails from some thankful potential customers.  (One of which was having the same experience with her and cancelled altogether when she saw she was not an isolated case.) 

Well now with the current rental, this person answers me in one sentence snippets and for the first time there are NO check in instructions and she told me to Mapquest the address.  Um really?  You seriously can’t email me a simple map to the rental given how completely inaccurate mapping programs are to places in the middle of the country?  I’m still in the midst of trying to get this person to just give me a straight answer.  Many would say given our luck that this is a massive red flag run far and fast.  Problem is the man is looking forward to it and while he’s saying that we should just forget about it because we’ll both probably regret it, he’s just being gracious.  One of the things I love about him.  I am going out of my way to not let this douchebag get to me and ruin what could be a potentially good time.  I’m trying to be all zen-like about it put it out there to the universe or whatever it is that supposedly picks up my vibe and gives that back to me two fold that this will be a great weekend and just what we need.  This is the problem with cynical people, we have been the proverbial statue as the bird flies over, makes it’s deposit and now we have low expectations.  I have a friend who is the consummate  optimist.  She could seriously swim in sewage and find the bright side in it.  It’s something I love, envy, admire and am irritated by all at the same time.  It’s like she could float through a zoo and gorillas could throw their feces at her and there’s some forcefield of goodness and purity around her that would stop her from being touched by a single chunk.  I wish I could skip through the days like she does.  Maybe it’s because she’s 8 years younger than I am and not jaded yet. 

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These are actual notes I took during the Vice Presidential debate when my brain wasn’t being turned to mush and ears bleeding profusely.

Stop saying “predatory lenders” are solely to blame for the real estate clusterfuck. There is equal blame on the part of these lenders AND the dumbasses who make $50,000/yr, think with a buttload of credit card debt and refuse to make cutbacks on their shoe shopping budget or daily gourmet coffee fix that they could still afford a $300K or more home! We live below our means on purpose. Take a lesson.

Way to go on not answering the questions Palin. Apparently the “bootcamp” you attended was to teach you to talk in circles more than you already do? If I hear one more reference to “soccer and hockey moms” trying to sap over people who think she’s Betty Crocker running for Mother of the USA, I’m going to vomit and I’m pretrified of vomiting. It’s almost condescending to the American people. The “well golly gee, I’m just a down home girl just like you folks” attitude.

Biden says regarding McCain taxing our healthcare so they can give us a $5000 credit which would likely leave many without insurance: “I call that the Ultimate Bridge to Nowhere” Sorry but I giggled my ass off at that even if I don’t care for the guy.

All candidates please stop referring to the voting public as “Main Street.” You all haven’t walked Main Street in quite some time. You’re all crooked and I don’t trust any of you to run the country. Its not a matter of choosing the best candidate, it’s a matter of choosing the lesser of 2 (okay 4) evils.

Thanks Gov. Palin for “tolerating” gay people and I’m sorry but the whole “I have gay friends” thing is way overplayed. If “the surge” worked then get our troops the fuck out of Iraq. It’s not a “white flag of surrender” you idiot.

OMFG, (did I really just write that??) you’re not serious. Sarah Palin just said NUCULAR. (Or however you spell that non-word) Just like Dubya. Want 4 more years of the past 8? Vote for the idiot that says nucular over NUCLEAR!!

Hey Biden, stop sighing heavily into the mic when you’re disgusted with what that screechbag is yammering about. Did you learn nothing from Al Gore being cannibalized in the press for his lack
of being able to contain his disgust for Dubya’s yammering in the debates?

After that I kind of zoned out.

It’s amazing that friendships can be forged in this crazy world.  What’s even more amazing is finding out the boundaries that these friendships have.  There are different circumstances in which I’ve met people in my life from school to work and even online.  As you get to talking to people and they let you in a little more, you can begin to see what it is you 1) get out of the relationship and 2) what you can and can’t say with certain friends.  Example:  I have a friend I met online who is a great lady.  Caring, supportive and we have a lot of great stories we swap.  I also happen to know she is on the complete opposite political spectrum than I am and therefore, I don’t make political references or anything that I know would offend her because I respect her opinion.  (I wish others had the same respect for me because I’m a little sick of all of the political emails I get.  If I don’t know someone’s political affiliation, I don’t forward emails of that or religious nature because why ruffle feathers and get in some big unresolvable to do?)

I recently had a friend who took a massive leap over the line where the man and I were concerned.  It was essentially her going behind my back to tell him that she didn’t agree with the way I handled one of our arguments.  This argument was not presented as a bone of contention, it was presented during one of our gatherings as a funny story that my husband and I laughed about and it wasn’t an issue.  She took it upon herself to disagree with how I handled it  and assumed he was having some kind of self esteem issue.  He assured me he wasn’t and is tired of being pitied by people and it was insulting.  Perhaps she thought by me telling the story I was emasculating him because he has a very good guy image and people hold him to almost cherubic standards.  I assure you he’s no cherub.  Who among us are??  We have a marriage that is very open and communicative, when I say we have no secrets I mean we both feel comfortable leaving our emails open and don’t care if the other sees it because there’s nothing to hide.  We don’t go through each others email but we knew if we had to go in there for something, we could and there’d be no issue.  We even thank each other after sex.  I know, we’re probably the only people in the world who do that and I don’t know why I felt compelled to share that but it was more to make the point that we have a deep mutual respect and appreciation for each other.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, boundaries.

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You know I was all hyped up about the HD thing and perhaps that was because I drank the Kool-Aid my husband was serving about how much more enhanced life would seem if I could see the wrinkles and bags of the local TV news anchor who is desperately trying to hold onto her youth.  We have an HD ”pro-sumer” camera for our business and this of course meant that we’d need the HDTV in which to view our work because the HD computer monitor apparently just wouldn’t do.    Might I just say that between Adobe Premiere sucking ass and basically ripping you off when asking for $300 for an upgrade that doesn’t work, a Phillips Blu-Ray drive that is an obvious lemon that we now have to try to get replaced and the scanning of 5,000 posts at Canon online forums of anal retentive albeit helpful know-it-alls as to why this or that glitch occurred it is obvious that Blu-Ray has some work to do before those without multimillion dollar budgets are able to breeze along with production.  (Award for longest run on sentence please)  Hubby bitches that had Sony just sucked it up and realized HD DVD was ready to roll on all levels except that of the disc space available, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.  Me?  I just know I’ve had a headache and slow building stress muscle twitches for 14 days and I’m ready for that to be over with.   Wake me when Blu-Ray becomes user friendly.