Wicked Attitude

I’ve been MIA lately, sorry about that.  Miss me?  Didn’t think so.  HA!  It’s another rambling post so settle in kittens.

I have this massive procrastination problem in finishing projects.  We began painting our great room on October 13th and finally finished like 3 weeks later.  The actual wall painting part took a few days but it was the trim and the open stairs and 5000 spindles that took forever.  Semi gloss is a real bitch and more than a few times I wanted to dump the can of paint over the head of the douche at Home Depot that recommended it.  But now that it’s all done, it looks great.  That’s not even the procrastination I was talking about either.  I have this habit of undertaking a massive project like that and then when you get to that very end part like putting your pictures back in order and getting everything tidy, I just fizzle out and the place remains in disarray.  So it took the threat of company to finally get everything where it needs to be…on this level.  Don’t look in the guest room because that’s where all of the stuff is that I couldn’t find a home for down here.  I am looking forward to digging into that and getting stuff in it’s place.  I’m in a pitching kind of mood so nothing in the house is safe. 

Something that made me laugh out loud today?  Sarah Palin being interviewed while turkeys were being slaughtered behind her.  Maybe think of where you are standing next time honey.

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You might be a redneck if this is on your Christmas list.

We’re halfway through painting our great room. The man keeps asking if I’m sure we don’t want to hire someone to finish the rest. No dear, I’m not paying someone $300 to do what we can do for free. But I am going to take a free pass to not be responsible for my actions due to inhalation of paint fumes.

Some douchewad went behind his wife’s back after she popped a human out of her body and changed the baby’s name from Ava Grace to…Sarah McCain Palin. Yeah. I’m sure after he has the surgery to have his nuts sewn back on, he’ll be heading straight to whatever office he needs to go to in order to change the name back to something non-idiotic. This is why men, who did nothing more to contribute to the process of baby being created than have an orgasm and a lucky swimmer, should never be allowed to name them.

21 days until this damn election is over. I will not miss you commercials. I will not miss you mud slingers. I will not miss you lawn signs. I will not miss you old man running with the beauty pagaent queen in a desperate attempt to win over Hillary voters. I just want to return to a time when I was able to turn on my TV and not be assaulted by political rhetoric every 45 seconds from commercials and the news. This election feels like it’s been going on for 3 years and if I were able to entertain myself for the duration, I would go in a bomb shelter and only pop out when it was safe from local and presidential election ads.

That floatation device from Rock of Love, Daisy De La Hoya is getting her own show on VH1. Who would watch this? Are there actually fans of this woman out there?? (Don’t answer that) If there was a nuclear bomb in LA, the only things that would be found in tact in the rubble would be her boobs and lips. I would like to make the same plea to VH1 to analyze the name of their channel. Video Hits 1. I’m failing to see video hits except for in the wee hours of the morning when most people are sleeping. Maybe consider changing your name to RC1 to reflect your actual programming…Reality Crap 1. Have artists stopped making videos for you to broadcast? This is why VH1 Classic is worth the money to see actual videos from the days they showed them. There is nothing better than 80’s cliche videos when the genre was new and they were experimenting and put effort into it, regardless of how cheesy it may look now. Sigh…the good old days.

Cheers

We were walking in the cemetery and it was an eventful walk.  There was a man practicing being a scarecrow or mime.  We didn’t ask, he didn’t tell.  Needless to say we kept an ear open and an eye on our car.  We also got to know some of the occupants in our surroundings and we saw one of the funniest things ever.  I’m going to take a camera next time because just repeating it takes away from it.  Yeah, I’m a tease like that.

I would like to hail The Ex List for its tackling of a very delicate subject…hairless vaginas.  They’re gross.  Hallelujah, someone finally said it!  I’m not saying grow a super fro all Foxy Brown like but there’s hair there for a reason and it asks to be neatly trimmed not waxed raw.  Having your hot box look like a 7 year old girl and having your man get off on it should raise a BIG red flag.  Nuff said.  (No creepy emails please.  On this let’s agree to disagree)

Jeers

I was watching Diners, Drive In’s and Dives last night and there was some dude who prides himself in doing everything to order.  Nothing is pre-cut like onion, peppers, etc.  This was impressive until I saw the myriad of cuts and chunks out of his hands.  ”I’ll take a Chicago dawg minus the blood and tissue donation please.”

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These are actual notes I took during the Vice Presidential debate when my brain wasn’t being turned to mush and ears bleeding profusely.

Stop saying “predatory lenders” are solely to blame for the real estate clusterfuck. There is equal blame on the part of these lenders AND the dumbasses who make $50,000/yr, think with a buttload of credit card debt and refuse to make cutbacks on their shoe shopping budget or daily gourmet coffee fix that they could still afford a $300K or more home! We live below our means on purpose. Take a lesson.

Way to go on not answering the questions Palin. Apparently the “bootcamp” you attended was to teach you to talk in circles more than you already do? If I hear one more reference to “soccer and hockey moms” trying to sap over people who think she’s Betty Crocker running for Mother of the USA, I’m going to vomit and I’m pretrified of vomiting. It’s almost condescending to the American people. The “well golly gee, I’m just a down home girl just like you folks” attitude.

Biden says regarding McCain taxing our healthcare so they can give us a $5000 credit which would likely leave many without insurance: “I call that the Ultimate Bridge to Nowhere” Sorry but I giggled my ass off at that even if I don’t care for the guy.

All candidates please stop referring to the voting public as “Main Street.” You all haven’t walked Main Street in quite some time. You’re all crooked and I don’t trust any of you to run the country. Its not a matter of choosing the best candidate, it’s a matter of choosing the lesser of 2 (okay 4) evils.

Thanks Gov. Palin for “tolerating” gay people and I’m sorry but the whole “I have gay friends” thing is way overplayed. If “the surge” worked then get our troops the fuck out of Iraq. It’s not a “white flag of surrender” you idiot.

OMFG, (did I really just write that??) you’re not serious. Sarah Palin just said NUCULAR. (Or however you spell that non-word) Just like Dubya. Want 4 more years of the past 8? Vote for the idiot that says nucular over NUCLEAR!!

Hey Biden, stop sighing heavily into the mic when you’re disgusted with what that screechbag is yammering about. Did you learn nothing from Al Gore being cannibalized in the press for his lack
of being able to contain his disgust for Dubya’s yammering in the debates?

After that I kind of zoned out.

Okay so I’m an admitted tightwad.  I have a pay as you go cell that I keep charged but never on me because no one needs to get ahold of me that bad.  All of the latest technology doesn’t really impress me much so I don’t understand lines where people get the first generation of new uber phone, TV, etc only to have the price lowered within 6-12 months by potentially hundreds of dollars.  I’ve never been overly impressed with the idea of HDTV and I knew eventually I’d break down and give in to the DH’s whimpering for one.  So we buy a 37″ LG 1080p HDTV and I’ll admit, it’s beautiful.  We knew after seeing the crappy analog feed from the cable company we’d have to break down and upgrade to the HD channels to take full advantage. 

One that we kind of laughed at was Food Network HD.  We thought “really?  Why would you need to see Food Network in HD??”  Now I know.  OMG.  I just watched Everyday Italian and am now watching Barefoot Contessa and I must say if I knew it wouldn’t leave a mark on the TV, I’d have licked the screen.  It feels like you can reach in and grab a brownie.  I may even try to.  But if you’re debating getting an HD TV, do your research, get nothing less than 1080p and make sure you get Food Network HD if you’re a foodie…you’ll be staring at food porn all day.

The man and I were looking forward to this new show starring Ted Allen (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Top Chef, Iron Chef America) since it was set up as a “Mythbusters” for food.  What it’s turned out to be is just plain disappointing.  For one, Ted comes off as the poor man’s Alton Brown and I know he’s better than the cheesy schtick he delivers during this show.  The worst part are these “food techs” that they have to do the demonstrations.  It’s like the director/producers got family members who wanted to be on TV and told them to overact during the dramatizations.  All it does is insult the viewer and make the point of the show seem less credible.  Let’s hope they cancel this and quick.  Good idea…poorly executed.

I used to listen to Dr Drew on Loveline with Adam Carolla back in the day on Pirate Radio in SoCal.  I always thought he gave good solid advice and never seemed overly judgmental more of a “tough love” advocate.  Then he got his own TV show Strictly Sex with Dr Drew and the following Strictly Dr Drew on Discovery Health, you could see a slight transition from a tough love administrator to a preachier version of his former self.  Then comes Celebrity Rehab and a TON of other TV appearances where anyone who had never heard of Dr. Drew certainly had now. 

Then there was tonight’s Baby Borrowers reunion in which he and some windbag from morning television were the “moderators.”  It was quite obvious they never watched the entire show because their questions or comments were proven wrong by a few of them and they almost seemed proud that these “stupid kids” were now broken up to prove a point.  Then Drew said something to the effect of when one of them said they were broken up he said “thank God because you were horrible parents!”  Both my husband and I were shocked at his complete judgment of these kids and acting like the holier than thou diety he seems to think he is.  I mean he didn’t even know who to look at when they were calling out specific couples.  More and more you see him calling out celebrities on their behavior as though he’s treating them and giving you a peek into their personal files.

He went from someone I used to think had a pretty good head on his shoulders to being the equivalent of Dr. Phil who has little to no credibility.  Enjoy the ride while you can Drew, it won’t be long before you get the backlash too.

I loved the I Love the 70’s/80’s series from VH1 because it brought back so many memories of toys, games and overall a good nostalgia factor.  They could continue to produce I love the 80’s, the Strikes Back sequel and the trilogy 3D because there was just so much that couldn’t be covered from fads to songs to tv shows and so on.  When the 90’s version came along, you could see a shift.  It wasn’t quite as happy in nature and this is the decade I graduated high school so yes, I remember things weren’t as shiny and gawdy as they were in the 80’s but it was a little unsettling to see it in a time capsule like that.

Enter the “I Love the New Millenium” series which still has 2 years they couldn’t cover because they jumped the gun.  I don’t remember seeing toys or anything having to do with things that make children happy as the 70’s/80’s editions did for me and the hubby.  Some of it was inaccurate as well.  The one that springs to mind is that the Geico Caveman commericals started in 2004, not 2007.  HELLO!?!  Not that hard to check people.  The TV SHOW that they butchered was in 2007 but they didn’t even mention it.  WTF?  It was also friggin DEPRESSING to watch the downfall of society.  I’m sure the biggest reason there wasn’t a big nostalgia factor was because the people who produced this show are in their late 20’s and 30’s so they have no clue what a kid of say 15 would look back on with nostalgia when they were 7.  This would also have their whole panel (many of whom I like, a few that are grating) in a cynical pissing match because they couldn’t relate to those things.  Instead the 00’s were looked back upon from the perspective of an adult and was just a recap of stories we were thankful to finally stop hearing about and there was little to gleefully shout “I remember that!” with fondness of a time long passed.  Because it’s 7 years to 6 months old!!!!  Why the hell would you jump the gun on producing these?  All it made us want to do is turn off the tv and play with our Barbie’s or GI Joes.  I can’t wait to see 2008’s version…

“I Love the New Millenium”  2008…the year that foreclosures were the highest ever, gas was so expensive people were choosing whether to pay utilities or gas in the tank to get to their jobs that are now barely worth it because the cost of groceries has gone up 20-40% while salaries are staying the same and when we blamed the government, oil companies and not the speculators for driving the price of oil through the roof.  Yay.

I have to say I was really rooting for Dwayne Johnson’s marriage to succeed.  She’d been with him since college, loved him when he had nothing and loved him when he had everything.  They share a beautiful daughter Simone together whom it is very obvious he adores because his face lights up when he talks about her in interviews.  But the pressures of Hollywood, a hectic schedule and the like I’m sure finally took their toll.

Dwayne and Dany are still on good terms and I thought I read still in business together.  (She’s a financial advisor)  He said he calls her his “sexy exey.”  LOL  What impressed me the most is that Dany is not requesting alimony from Dwayne.  Given his income and investments, she could’ve easily asked for it which disputes any “gold digger” claims jealous Dwayne fans may have had.  What is quite evident from reading the divorce papers is that Dwayne and Dany have the best interest of their daughter at heart. Included is a clause that encourages love and affection and will not allow the other parent or anyone else to make a negative comment about the other parent in the presence of their daughter.  Each parent is also paying $5,000/mo into a trust for her to cover her college expenses. 

Kudos to the Johnson/Garcia’s for showing that not all divorces have to be painful and ugly and for thinking of the most important thing you two ever created…your child.

Back in the day, I was a big time Poison fan.  I mean LOVED them.  C.C. was my man of choice.  What can I say, I liked guys I knew I could share make up with…I was also a Nick Rhodes fan from Duran Duran so me and the Maybelline men go way back.  So of course when Rock of Love came along I had to watch despite the train wreck of boobs, airheads, booze and vomit just to see how one of my favorite band members was faring 20 years later.  Good Lord.  My imagination gave him much more intelligence and maturity than reality TV has shown his true nature.  Not sure why this wasn’t named Rock of Lust but I digress.  I had to tune into Season 2 because…I don’t know, I’m apparently a glutton for punishment.

So we were down to Ambre, my pick because she seems the least slutty, closer to his age and mature which I pray rubs off on him.  Or we have Daisy “De La Hoya” who claimed she was Oscar De La Hoya’s niece (she’s not and I don’t know what she’d have to gain by lying about it given the last time his name was big it was because he was cross dressing in a fishnet catsuit).  She has the IQ of a carrot, huge on board airbags, looks like someone bike pumped her lips, apparently needs her hands in order to attempt to speak.  I say attempt because half the things she says are slurred and I feel myself getting more cerebrally retarded as I hear sounds spew from her face.

So who did he choose? Holy crap the man grew a brain cell and chose Ambre!

We all know its not going to last but at least they got to have…to quote Bret “hot monkey sex.”  Let’s hope she doesn’t dump him at the reunion too