Wicked Attitude

You know my husband worked at a place who had a dirty reputation before he started.  There was no insider trading or drugs being sold out of the back rooms (that we know of) but the reputation came straight from the bowels of the operation…the bathrooms.  The people perpetuating the reputation?  The cleaning people who had to clean them, who incidentally cleaned our building.  They would always say how they loved cleaning our bathrooms over the building behind us so we asked why.  With a shiver, one of the cleaning people revealed tales of nose goblins (aka- boogers) and feces (for those not down with the techical term…poop) on the walls, floor and even the ceiling once.  How does one even accomplish this?  Never mind, I don’t want to know.  We would all wretch at the mere mention of this and blamed it on the low class bill collectors that occupied that floor.  (I’m not knocking bill collectors as a whole because unfortunately I used to be one at a law firm but these people were truly like they were in some kind of release program.) 

Hubby has moved on and thought his booger and shit days were behind him.  Well apparently some dregs have gotten into his workplace because he commented yesterday there was a nugget of crap on the floor and he refused to use the bathroom on that floor.  He said how stepping in dog crap is one thing but stepping in human crap is just so unacceptable.  I told him it was because humans have a choice!

So to the mannerless douchebags of the world who get some kind of sick thrill by wiping their nasal and anal excrement on walls of bathrooms, KNOCK IT OFF!!!  Do you do that at your own house??  Not likely or your woman would divorce you!  Given how many germs are already floating in the bathroom anyway, I pray with everything in me that when you wipe your boogers on a wall that there is some horrific bacteria on the wall that you then insert back into your nose when mine for goodies again and you come down with flesh eating bacteria.  That would serve you right, to have your nose begin to erode and have to have it amputating.  The bacteria should go to people who actually deserve it, not the innocent people who typically get it.  Oh and learn to aim on a toilet.  I think that people who crap on the floor or on the toilets instead of in them should have DNA tests run on the turd to identify the person responsible and then they are made to clean the bathrooms for a month top to bottom after someone else has been named the designated crapper so they can see what its like to clean up someone else’s crap!!!  I cannot believe in this day and age we have full grown adults walking around with this problem!!!!  Grow up you disgusting pigs!

Seen this commercial?  Well you may THINK you have but there’s a new disgusting twist to the Sea Bond dental adhesive commercial.  Buckle your seatbelts 15 seconds in for the seductive geriatric tooth lick!

I was watching a Quizno’s commercial and it was for their new Lobster salad sandwich.  Well if you look at the bottom in the small print at one point it says “contains 51 percent lobster.”

This begs the questions…what’s the other 49%?  Just sayin’.

So me and the man have been doing this whole Paul McKenna stuff on TLC’s “I Can Make You Thin.”  One of the things he said was to throw out or not eat foods that don’t inspire you.  You don’t realize how much you settle for mediocre foods that are cold, unappealing or just there.  We got Taco Bell last night and I think it’s safe to say we won’t go back.  I got original tacos and some of the shredded “cheese” on top fell off so I ate it on its own.  It didn’t even taste like cheese and the texture resembled no cheese I’d ever eaten.  I would love to see what the actual ingredients are in this crap.   Then I got to the side order of nachos.  Just plain nacho chips and that cheesesque dipping sauce.  After 2 chips I retched on them.  If cardboard were able to be squeezed for its oil and you took a perfectly good tortilla chip and fried it in the cardboard oil, you’d have the nachos I was served (and promptly threw away) last night.

There’s a reason the urban legend of Taco Bell exists.  They don’t seem to care that their food no longer has flavor or the flavor it does have tastes like scrap.  Just like Pizza Hut.  Think back to the old school Pizza Hut, you know when you and the family used to go in and they’d bring you those delicious pizzas with the puffy mozzarella on top.  The inside of Pizza Hut’s used to smell heavenly and you knew you’d get a good reliable pizza every time.  (Remember Priazzo’s?  Mmmm)  Now, it doesn’t even resemble that.  It tastes very commercial and manufactured.  We haven’t gotten Pizza Hut in years because the quality has gone so downhill from Pizza Hut of old.  So it’s no wonder these two giants of mass producing mediocre eats have teamed up to sell their stuff from the same drive thru window. 

When Unwrapped on Food Network came along I was intrigued because let’s face it, we’ve all been curious how candy canes get their stripes or Twinkies get their filling.  I’ve always loved the little factory tours and what not.  But the more tours of candy and taffy factories I see, the more something horridly grotesque becomes apparent to me.  I would guesstimate about 75% of the big burly man workers in these factories pick up these huge, sticky globs of candy to move from the puller to some other contraption with their bare hands/arms. 

I cannot count how many times I’ve seen overly hair men scoop up these mammoth mounds of sugar and slap them down and you KNOW a minimum of 5 hairs were ripped out of his arm which means *someone* out there is going to be sucking on a big, hairy candy cane or pop a piece of salt water taffy with a little something extra in the center.  I can only recall one factory in which these workers were wearing plastic gloves up to their elbows.  Why is this not the industry standard??  Why when it’s right there on popular tv for all to see do we not write in to these companies asking for more sanitary conditions in the preparations of our sugary treats?  I know, there are things going on in restaurants and grocery stores that are probably far worse but those aren’t televised and right in our faces.  Factory workers, I beg of you, shave the arms or cover ‘em up.  Salt water hairball taffy is not my idea of a delicacy.